The Speech
by Trunks Ichijouji
Summary: Jack gives the "speech" to Cassie's boyfriend.


A/N: This is my first Stargate fanfic, so I hope everyone is in character. I noticed there weren't many fics with Cassie in it, so I though "Why not?"

"I had a great time." Cassie commented, turning from the window and facing her date. This was the third time they went out, but the first she had to give him an uninterrupted goodbye kiss. The other times were filled with Cassie's dog barking loudly as to wake the neighbors or her mother waltzing in, creating an awkward silence. Her date, Brian, looked nervously back at her, his hands firmly planted on the wheel as he pulled to a stop outside her house.

"Uh, yeah, me too." His eyes darted throughout his car.

"So, uh, I guess I'll see you later." Cassie picked up her purse with one hand.

"Yeah, I guess." She hesitantly leaned in for a kiss goodnight, closing her eyes. A light kiss graced her cheek and pulled back. She opened her eyes, and studied her boyfriend. He was acting strange.

"I think you should go before you break curfew." Now she knew something was strange. She gave him one last glance, before her hand wandered to the door handle.

"Don't want your parents mad at me." He explained.

"Parent_s_?" Cassie asked, emphasizing the plural word.

"Yeah, there's nothing worse than having your dad mad at the boyfriend."

"Dad?" Cassie asked incredulously, confusion and shock written all over her face.

"Don't worry; most dads tend to give me the 'if you hurt my daughter' speech."

Five adults laid comfortably in the living room. The night had began with it just being Janet and Sam, but then Daniel had been staying the week at Sam's as his apartment was being repainted, and had been invited. When Jack caught wind of it, he claimed he needed to cut down on his fast-food intake and a night at the doc's house would help. After that, Teal'c was automatically invited to round off the team. Janet and Daniel turned out to be the only decent cooks. Sam had been helping in the beginning, but after confusing the sugar with the salt and small fire that was quickly put out, she was forever banished from the kitchen. The TV turned on and the moment hockey was discovered, the remote suspiciously disappeared. The night was winding down and silence was beginning to ensue until the sound of a door shutting awoke them from their stupor.

"Home before ten?" Janet commented, looking at the clock with confusion. She was accustomed to Cassie running in the house, seconds before midnight. This was definitely different.

"Jack!" the teenage voice rang through the house and it did not sound happy. He quickly placed a smile on his face before replying.

"Hey kiddo. Home so soon?" He said once she was in view.

"What did you tell him?" Cassie tossed her purse on the counter.

"Tell who?" Jack asked innocently.

"Brett."

"Who's Brett?"

"My boyfriend; the guy I went out with tonight."

"Oooh, Bart? I didn't say anything to him."

"Brett." Cassie corrected, her eyes narrowing.

"Right..."

"Nothing?" Cassie stared at him incredulously.

"Cassie, what's wrong?" Janet asked, trying to diffuse the situation. The conversation was going no where.

"Jack told Brett that he was my father."

"What?!" Sam and Janet exclaimed, all eyes on him now.

"And that he had just gotten out of prison and wouldn't mind going back if anyone were to hurt me."

"The kid must be delusional." Jack retorted unconvincingly and took a sip of his beer. "I would care if I went back to prison. They don't get The Simpsons in the big house."

"And that Teal'c was his personal hitman!" Cassie complained.

"O'Neill, what is a hitman?" Teal'c asked, puzzled.

"You knew Teal'c used to be the first prime of Apophis."

"He didn't kiss me goodnight because you told him you would be watching! He wouldn't even walk me to the door for fear of you." Jack wiped the smug look off his face after receiving a deathly-glare from Cassie. "He will probably never call me again."

"I'm sure Colonel O'Neil didn't mean anything when he said those remarks and I'd be happy to call Brett's mother and-" Janet said, quickly being interrupted.

"No! Don't call him, you'll mess everything up! Just forget it!" Cassie ran to her room, with a disgruntle grunt.

Silence surrounded the room. A few errant coughs were heard while others just took a sip of their drink. This continued until a faint laugh was heard. Janet threw a hand over her mouth, but it was no use. A full-blown laugh escaped and it wasn't long before she found herself shaking, clasping the pillow beside her.

"Are you ok Janet?" Sam asked cautiously.

"You told him Teal'c was a hitman?!" Janet asked, gasping for air as she calmed down.

"Something along those lines..."

"She'll be mad in the morning, but if I don't have to see him again, it'll be worth it. I walked in on them kissing once and it was a medical mystery how she could breathe with his tongue so far down her throat."

"You asked him to scare off Cassie's date?" Daniel asked, quite amused by the thought.

"I told him about the guy but I didn't know he'd do this."

"It was a coincidence that you invited us over for dinner and Cassie had a date?" Sam questioned, disbelieving the story.

"Either way, Cassie is kind of like a daughter to me. I couldn't let her date that delinquent and him not know the consequences." Jack commented, leaning back into the sofa.

"Delinquent, sir?" Sam chuckled.

"He's one to talk." Daniel mumbled.

A/N: I hope you liked it. Review!!


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